Everyone wants long term success. But it is elusive for most.

Long term success is dependent on knowing where you are now and where you are headed. Then closing the gap. Frequently. Continuously.  Whether it’s your business, your career or your life at home., it’s easy to get off track, lose touch or get buried under. Without a true sense of where you are in the moment, it is impossible to realize your dreams or be a leader in your field.

Re-calibrate your profound knowledge

The only way we can take 100% responsibility for sustaining our success is to keep re-calibrating-in every aspect of our lives and organizations.

Key to successful recalibration is to acquire what my dear departed mentor, Dr. W. Edwards Deming, coined as Profound Knowledge. This umbrella phrase emphasizes understanding change and how to measure it, being aware of emerging trends and shifts, and learning how to apply this knowledge to leading and sustaining long term success.

Bottom line: If we don’t acquire Profound Knowledge we cannot know how to prepare for and leverage coming change, thus how to sustain our success long term.

Understanding change means understanding shifts in our personal world as well as tracking trends that capsize us, overtake us, or cause us to flounder.

Learning the Hard Way

Unfortunately one of my Gen X male clients learned this the hard way. A rising star in his field and recently married, he was planning far a great future for his kids, tons of time for fun and all the trappings of success. As if out of the blue, the rug got pulled out from under him. His “Happy Homemaker” wife fled, saying I’m out of here!

Somewhere along the way there was a breakdown or perhaps many small fissures below the surface. Had they been recalibrating an checking in with each other, communicating the truth of what was so for each of them…perhaps they could have saved their marriage…or at least ended it with love, grace, and forgiveness.

Even in the most secure relationships, unexpected change happens to ruffle our plans. A recently returned to work mother of teenage kids reported that her new career is now going gangbusters and she no longer worries about the empty-nest . But, the new ripple in her life is that her once very successful husband, in his late 40’s, now faces an unknown future. Surprised by the shifts in his industry, “suddenly” he and his business partner are facing the probability of closing their doors. What once appeared to be the sure path to their dreams, is no crumbling beneath them.

Change is inevitable. If you can learn what Profound Knowledge is and apply it you can avoid these same pitfalls and NOT LEARN THE HARD WAY!

What steps are you going to take to future cast your long term success?

However, from the vibrating heart of our dissipating structures comes the promise of our true greatness: a greatness of awareness and action that will change the world. From the midst of the evolving Great Transition, we leave the Great Recession and the uplifting Obama era behind us as we enter an unknown, unchartered new cycle of populism and extreme radicalism ripping our valued democratic tenets to shreds and putting each of us on the line.  This Great Shift demands that we each unlock our potential for greatness which lives in each of us, and we are being called to make a difference. That is the premise of The Greatness Challenge, in which I offer a template for embracing and embodying our unique Signature Greatness DNA^SM to unleash our personal and collective greatness.

The Greatness Challenge is a manifesto for the growing wave of us who want to add value in all we do and who are being called to personal and collective evolution—from dentists to doctors, executives to engineers, artists to teachers and visionary leaders and futurists who are looking to redesign their lives so that every moment counts . . . for those of you who seek work that not only fills your bank accounts but your “values” bank as you yearn to do well doing good . . . for leaders who seek a pathway to visionary leadership, so the impact you have is of the greatest benefit for all.

To be one of the first to hear about The Greatness Challenge when it releases join us in the Secret Facebook Group here.

“I want to make every moment count.”

“Life is short.”

“It’s got to matter or why bother?”

One of my clients exclaimed during one of our recent sessions, “Oh my G-d, I just got it… I have less time before me with my wife than we have behind us. We have got to change how we are doing things!”

By the Year 2025, there will be more than 1 billion people age 60 or older. Three quarters of them will be in developing countries. And many of them right here in the United States. By the year 2020, 76 % of Americans will be 50 years or older.  With age comes many challenges but also a heightened appreciation for life and a greater thirst for meaning in work and relationships.

Psychologists Jung, Erickson and Neugarten left us developmental models to track our growth as we move through our life course. Anyone 38 or older is in what Erikson described as the “last two seasons of life.” Since most of, much of our citizenry in developed countries is over 35, this is important in understanding our times and what moves us to action.

Research confirms that accomplished and affluent Americans and Europeans in the post-9/11 and -3/11 era have become more intent on adding value, seeking meaning and significance in their lives and work. Wisdom comes with greater reflection.

Each of us is age-appropriately seeking “significance.” The highest rung on psychologist’s Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is “Self-Actualization.” With our basic needs met, we yearn to reach for more…for transcendence.

Most of our leaders, at the helm of our most powerful corporations and governments are in midlife, in one of these last two seasons. Here lies a monumentally rich possibility: We in these last two seasons can fuel the movement towards meaning, significance as well as both midlife and later life greatness.

We need a new paradigm as well as tools for midlife course correction. Baby Boomers always drive change. Now they drive a shift to lives filled with significance.

With $10 Trillion in assets being passed down to Boomers and 50- plusers, they will hold financial control of the new paradigm. What a wonderful opportunity for the savvy leader and organization to leverage this knowledge! By championing greatness, Vanguard Leaders will trigger transformation and innovation the likes of which we have never seen… and desperately need.

Fostering greatness in our schools, at home and in the workplace, is what will empower us to stay ahead of the curve, to retain our lead as innovator and model democracy.

Our gray hair could be the start of a whole new revolution. What a fantastic opportunity for those at the helm.

Where will you start?

Amazon #1 Best Seller Author of 11 books including The Ageless Way, Gray is the New Green, Visionaries Have Wrinkles, The Greatness Challenge and more.

A problem adequately stated is a problem well on its way to being solved.   R. Buckminster Fuller

Last weekend, I sat in the lazy Spring evening with a dear friend to say goodbye.  We all gathered outside on the genteel front porch, surrounded by splashes of outrageous colors in wafting fragrance from their lovely- tended perennial gardens. All of us either ex-hippies or on the early at baby boomer hood. Now mainstream and highly accomplished.  Some of us parents with adolescent kids, other brand new or seasonal empty-nesters.  Coupled and single along with a recent widower.  All of us hunkering into midlife and beyond.

Our conversations floated from one thing to another finally to what’s next?  Each of us piping to our two cents.

What’s next?

 So typical of midlife and beyond: the biological clock keeps ticking! Each of us want to beat that clock… or remove its hands! Like Ulysses’ sirens all our ‘I wants’ shrill shrews demanding attention right now! The consensus: everything looks so risky and getting more so every day!  We all laughingly agreed that it would be so great to just float away. Take a cruise and come back when everything is all decided. Isn’t that what holiday escapes for?

The reality is that most of us are asking the same life altering questions as we find ourselves standing at the precipice of change: How do I make decisions now since I don’t know who I’m going to be by then… or what the world will like by then?! The “then” timeframe has some encompasses the next 2-5 years, and for others of us, 10-15. But what is the same for all is that these midlife and beyond questions range from the more profound:  why am I here? Is this all there is? The more fundamental practice decision about where to go from here both in career and life planning terms. On the midlife career front for instance: where do I step down and pass the baton? What’s my new passion? Should I join some company boards, or rev up and start a new business? Combine with more personal ones which muddy the choice even further: can I afford to downshift? Is this the spouse I want now? Do I want City living, the country or both?

Living Betwixt & Between

Just as in adolescence, most of us are teetering between “in control” and “out of control”.  Each what if? Required a multitude of compromises and leads to more complicated scenarios without obvious answers.  Like a child ride, around and around go.  It’s dizzying.  Lots of questions. Too many choices. Plenty of obstacles to traverse.

Caught in the middle zone, although reluctant to admit it out loud, we all confronted what day tremendous terror of not knowing, the Million-dollar jackpot question is: How do we live in between?

 The only answer: In the center of tension! Somehow we have to find another ground.  And wait it out!

This is the place I know so very well.  As a self-proclaimed midlife and beyond diva, I enter this space as a matter of course as clients seek new on-ramp, change lanes and shift gears on the road to midlife greatness and new destinations.

Life is Good

My own visits to the center of the maelstrom remind me that each new life cycling brings us back into the Life is Good phase. But once there, it’s so easy to get comfy. Too much so. In my youth, the inflation of success was so intoxicating.  I love the adrenaline high fueling my surety that I’ve got this nailed.  I am on top of the world. This phrase’s arrogance blindside us. Once again we fall totally out of touch with the other end of the continuum:  where things may look like there’s no way out…apathy reigns… you may want to give up… can’t find your way. The other side of ignorance can be excruciating self-doubt, emptiness, disconnection from life’s greater mysteries.

Caught in the throes of an inner life-death struggle, we prefer not to take the curves, but rather hold on to what we know and have. So many of us take the slow lane, driving within the speed zone. Only to find ourselves stuck in first gear, heading right smack into mediocrity.  Stagnation. Entropy.

Just like the lifecycle of a business, our lives follow a recurring pattern: one phase follows the next, in time. We either have to change- recycle- or die on the side of the road.

Recently I found myself like a deer in headlights, not sure which way to go.  My husband and I our grappling with where to live and work next. So many directions fascinate. We all want to be with kids, who are spreading across the country from east to west. I craved the country needing to be in nature, yet the” action” is in the city.  New doors are opening to take my work to the next level. I’m pregnant with possibilities.

Fortunately, I know better: I have to stay in the center of the maelstrom and wait it out. And I have to sit in my worst fears.  I know that if I resist, my fears of manifest even more. Instead of staving off the fear of not knowing with my favorite numbing trick, (filling myself with extra help of carbs, obsessing over roads not taken, buying something I probably don’t need) I must instead find a safe middle ground. A place within, where it’s okay to NOT KNOW…yet. That’s where real clarity is birthed.

Lots of opportunities that appear to be right up my alley are beginning to show up. It would be so easy to speed ahead. Any premature movement towards resolution, e.g., rushing the process…is a “subtle self-violation”, as Richard Moss would say.

As is true for all of us, as I get closer to a breakthrough, (the aha! Moments,) the ante gets upped. I need a fix! Just the time to outsource for support and objectivity. I call a dear friend or colleague, and she reminds me to be delicate with myself. And to make friends with my fear of not knowing just yet.

Thankfully, I am forced to acknowledge my own hunger for ready answers and unease with not knowing. I remind myself that this too will pass. Clarity will return. But while I wait, my task is to keep striving for greater consciousness…stretching to unleash my greatness.

Detours or Destinies?

 Now more than ever, it is critical that we remain flexible and adaptable…making friends with change and not knowing. This is our time to resource, preparing for a new phase or a totally new cycle. Each of us must be extra vigilant now to be personally accountable. Now is the time to invite change and embrace transformation.

All we have to do is stay in motion. That’s the key to longevity! But we must remember us that heading into action without clarity is dangerous. Otherwise we may miss the gift of what Bucky Fuller, (one of our country’s greatest 20^th century Visionaries,) coined as a right-angle precession. Tracing patterns in nature, fuller uncovered a new truth: we must stay open to what shows up although it may look like a detour. It may very well be our destiny honking.

For instance, using the Bumble Bee as an example in nature: It flies parallel to the flowers below heading in a determined direction. Then, its turns perpendicular to its original path, only to find the nectar it was seeking. As we all know, it’s so easy to be totally focused on the goal in front of us, so wary of being sidetracked, that we miss the most important side roads. These show up as messengers pointing the way to our desired destination.

Tools for the Road

 I expect to spend the rest of my life in the future so I want to be reasonably sure what kind of future it’s going to be. That’s is my reason for planning.

CF Kettering

To avoid making the wrong turn or aborting the trip altogether, we need proper assessment tools, knowledge and experience to make distinctions. And if we are really savvy travelers, we can take the hairpin turns without destroying what matters most by studying with a master. With seasoned objective and wisdom, a master will help us turn on our headlights again.

To Hire or Not to Hire: Family Caregiving and When It’s Time for a Helping Hand

By: Samantha Stein

A secure long term care coverage is difficult to find, especially when it concerns your parents. Who do you trust with their care? Would an insurance policy be enough? And which long term care insurance companies can you truly rely on?

One of the biggest components of a comprehensive long term care plan is identifying where your loved one wants to receive the care. Understandably, many individuals opt to receive care and age in their own homes for as long as their health permits it. The main reason for this is because they are most comfortable there; their houses are their safe zones. For many families, however, adult children are left to provide the care that their parents need despite the repercussions in their own lives.

This is the reality for many Millennials and Gen Xers. Thanks for the changing market that left plenty of the Baby Boomers underprepared for their own long term care needs, Millennials and Gen Xers called upon to provide the support that they need.

For many, the support that their parents need is in the form of caregiving.

Family caregiving is not an easy task. While it can be truly rewarding, the role can cause severe stress and anxiety on anyone. Many caregivers have had to drastically change their lifestyles to accommodate the new task. Some individuals have had to leave their chosen careers to care for a loved one while others have had to cut back on hours just to make room for the new demands. On top of that, family caregivers are also at risk emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially.

Fortunately, some individuals and agencies specialize in providing the care that many people need. Hiring caregivers is an ideal option because this setup provides a way for adult children to ensure that their parents get the best care without sacrificing aspects of their lives.

What to Look for in a Caregiver

Looking for a good caregiver is a challenging task, but preparing a list of qualifications and considerations can help immensely. Many people apply to senior caregiving jobs, but not all of them possess the necessary skills to provide the care needed.

Before interviewing someone for the caregiver position, you need to know the specific tasks necessary in providing the care for your parents. You may want your caregiver to help them out with personal care or meal preparation. You may also require a highly skilled person when it comes to monitoring of medications and housecleaning.

Caregiving Duties and Responsibilities

When sorting out applicants, you need to read their resumes carefully and determine the type of caregiving services they can offer. Standard duties and responsibilities of caregiving fall into three categories – companionship, home helper, and personal care.

• Companionship refers to activities that assists and encourages an individual. Providing stabilization and assistance with walking and preparing meals are examples of companionship.
• Home helper involves light housekeeping, doing errands, or incidental transporting of an older individual.
• Personal care includes assisting a person with bathing, grooming, and toileting.

Additional Qualifications

If you are short listing caregiver applicants, you might as well hire someone who possesses exceptional skills and qualifications. For example, hire someone who can drive your parents to the doctor’s clinic. Moreover, it will be helpful if you could find a caregiver who can lift, push, or pull a minimum of 25 lbs. If your family member needs assistance with transporting, the caregiver can help him or her move around the house without a problem. Essential qualifications that you need to look out for also include specialized training with CPR and life support or certification for medication monitoring.

Certainly, finding the right person to care for your parents is not easy. If you are looking for someone to tend to the needs of your loved one, consider the tips above.

Becoming More Involved

“Do you feel like 24 hours in a day is not enough?”—no one agrees more with this sentiment than the Millennials and Gen Xers.

Holding down a full-time job, raising their own children, acquiring advanced degrees—these are just some of the most important aspects that fill your lives as Millennials and Gen Xers. However, more and more individuals are being called upon to fill the role of family caregiver.

Though hiring an extra set of hands can help, you need to keep in mind that they cannot fully provide one important factor in their parents’ wellbeing: the comfort and companionship through family ties.

Understandably, accomplishing everything is easier said than done. There are already so many responsibilities on your plates that it is a struggle to incorporate caring for your parents into it. However, it can be managed.

Listed below are ways to help you succeed in providing care to your parents, on top of the demands of your everyday life.

• Share The Tasks

Other than the hired caregiver, spread the duties and visits between siblings. Create a schedule that is manageable for you and your siblings that also ensures your parents get regular visits.

• Explain Your Situation at Work

Employers are now more understanding of understanding of the demands of caregiving. They are now more accommodating, and some even offer family caregiver leaves. Others offer flexible working hours to their employees caring for their relatives.

• Support Others in the Same Situation

This might not help immediately, but appreciation and affirmation from others going through the same situation can boost a person’s outlook. Caregiving can be a big responsibility, but random acts of kindness from people in the same boat can lift anyone’s spirits.

• Sometimes, Spending Time Together is Enough

You do not have to do anything grand. Sometimes, having tea on their porch and just talking can go a long way. This type of downtime can help your parents feel valued. It can also give you time to step back from your hectic life and rest.

• Use Technology to Your Advantage

When your schedule gets too packed and physical visits become challenging, technology can bridge the gap. The misconception that most people have about Baby Boomers is that they are not good when it comes to technology. This is not entirely true.

Skype or FaceTime with them or simply call them on their mobile phones. That is what makes technology wonderful—it helps people connect even though their thousands of miles way. Taking a few minutes to call and say hi will not take too much from your day.

The reality is that caregiving can be a stressful and frustrating task. It is not easy, but it can be rewarding. These are our parents and our grandparents, and they have spent their lives providing for the family. Whether you choose to hire or step up and provide the care, are you doing everything to ensure that your parents are well protected and cared for now that the roles are reversed?

“Ah! There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.” ~ Jane Austen

Is it any wonder that as we grow older so many of us want to remain in our own homes? After all, our home is often the space where we have lived for years, if not decades, a place that reflects who we are and the aspects of life we find most comfortable and fulfilling. Our home can be the place of some of our best memories. It can afford us whatever independence we want to retain and a sense of stability amidst a sea of changes, losses, and/or uncertainties that can accompany aging. Our home is often in a location where we have established roots and cherished connections. Because the landscape of our own home is already familiar, we may have a greater sense of safety there, both emotionally and physically. Additionally, with assisted living facilities and other communities coming at a cost, it may also be a wise financial decision to stay where we are.

A study, “Aging in Place in America,” commissioned by Clarity and The EAR Foundation, and posted on MarketingCharts.com, asserts that nearly 90 percent of those who are Boomers and older want to age in place without having to move from their homes. More than half (53%) are concerned about their ability to do so.

In addition to some of the better known modifications one can make to a home (grab bars in bathrooms, handrails on stairs, bright lighting, accessible light switches, cabinets, doors, no entry lips, etc.), the study showed that many people are also opening to using new technologies which offer promise for being better able to Age in Place. Technologies can assure greater independence and include items such as: sensors in homes to monitor health (e.g.: breathing and pulse rate); computers, smart phones, and programs like Skype and FaceTime which enable online connection with loved ones and essential care providers; and, tablets offering large print magazines, newspapers, and books. There continue to be advancements in medical alert systems and gadgets, as well as apps and programs which enable the tracking of the resident(s), their medications, and their appointments. Some technological devices can also alert caregivers in the event of an emergency situation.

The issue of such technologies was even the topic of the Senate Special Committee on Aging’s hearing last week. Although it was clear technology may offer peace of mind, as well as cost savings to programs like Medicaid, the panel cautioned about needing to also be mindful about ensuring individual privacy and safety, as well.

Additionally, Aging in Place and the accompanying technological tools may not be the right or best decision for everyone. Luckily, there are many options for those who either do not want, or are unable, to stay in their own home. Assisted living facilities are not the only option, either. There are an increasing number of possibilities to accommodate lifestyle preferences, which also enable a sense of community. These can include: active adult communities for those over 55; co-housing options (living in your own place and sharing a common area, such as a community garden and/or common room or building for gatherings); shared housing options (e.g.: mother-in-law apartments or living with other housemates); and, intergenerational communities in which residents may also assist each other with needs such as babysitting or ride-shares.

There are several positive impacts of longevity and the accompanying growth in housing options. These include potentially boosting the economy and providing ample opportunities for entrepreneurs of all ages to develop and provide products and services which will assist and enrich lives, regardless of where we follow our hearts to make our homes.

What type of community do you think is ideal for you and/or your loved ones? Do you have any new ideas for enhancing housing options for those over 40? Or new entrepreneurial ways of serving the Aging in Place movement?

(Image Credit: Wreath by dichohecho, Flickr.com)